Trephination is the ancient practice of drilling a hole in the skull and removing a small piece of bone. Although the practice may be ancient and seem primitive, it is amazingly suited to solving the problems of modern man; problems caused by the pressures of life in our advanced technological society. Trephination literally relieves the pressure in your brain.
As you know, Today's society takes care of all your physical needs. Your abilities for reason and judgment are redundant in a world where all this is done for you. Your capability of thought is a aftereffect of evolution from eons ago when thought gave our ancestors a survival advantage. Now there is no survival advantage to thought. As a result, your ability to think has no constructive use. In fact, most people channel their idle thoughts into destructive directions. People start to feel concern for things they cannot change or understand. This results in stress - the number one killer in the world today.
Moreover, doctors now tell us that the rate of incidents of depression and anxiety due to excessive worry is increasing every year. Soon there will not be enough Prozac to treat all the victims of idle thoughts.
Why worry about your diet, exercise, carcinogens, murder, and war, when the real cause of misery and death is worrying about these things? And the real cause of worry is your brain. Yet, how can you not worry? The answer is to attack the problem and not the symptoms. The problem is your brain.
Today, we can offer more than just trepanning (cranial ventilation). Modern surgical techniques allow you to choose as much or as little brain modification to best suit your lifestyle -- from simple Trephination; to lobotomy; to complete decephalization. Come speak with one of our counselors who can help you decide which is the best brain for you.
If you have put off brain surgery before because you didn't want unsightly scars or stitches, then your wait is over. With modern surgical techniques available only through the Trepan Brain Clinic, no one will ever know of your surgery. You won't ever have to be seen with you head shaved. We can use micromanipulators through a small hole in the ear or sinuses to perform most surgical procedures. You will feel less discomfort; you will go home faster; and best of all, it's so fast and easy that you don't even need an appointment.
Remember, only your brain stands in your way of your happiness.
| ©Copyright 1998 by Noah |